Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Are you going to die?

Gretchen has been asking this question a lot lately - and I think it's my fault. She has started to be interested in fairy tales so I got some books from the library. One of them was Hansel and Gretel where the step mother gets sick and dies while Hansel and Gretel are outfoxing the old witch lady and pushing her into the oven. Ever since we got this book, she has been asking me if I am going to die. Is daddy going to die? Is grandma going to die? Is the house going to die? Of course I tell her yes but probably not for a long time from now so she shouldn't worry about it. I don't know if she was sold on that - I don't want to tell her how my mother, my grandmother and my great-grandmother all died around age 40 (due their own destructive natures). I plan on living longer than them.... This is not the first time we have discussed death. When Gretchen could understand relationships like mother, father, sister, brother, she quickly realized that mommy doesn't have a mother or father. And then she realized Steve's dad was no longer with us. She asked about them and I told her the truth: that they had died and were no longer living. I am not sure she completely understands but it seems like she understands that we will never see them again. I have shown her pictures of my parents that we have in the basement. She seems so fascinated by them. I know Steve's mom has shown her pictures of her grandpa so I think it's okay. I know this conversation isn't over - it will rear it's ugly head again but I think I am the one who is sad by it, not her. I am glad we had it though.... I am glad she is curious....

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